The Habits I Quietly Stopped Because They Were Making Life Harder

I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to fix my life. I just started noticing how tired I felt, even on days that weren’t especially hard. Not the kind of tired that goes away with an early bedtime, but the kind that comes from carrying too much in your head for too long.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up a few habits that sounded responsible, but were quietly making our days heavier. I didn’t overhaul anything. I just let a few of them go.

These are the small ones I’ve been working on lately:

• trying to finish everything before I let myself rest
• filling every quiet moment with something productive
• carrying my whole to-do list around in my head
• believing I should be better at this by now

I stopped using the end of the day to catch up on the entire day. For a long time, I treated rest like something I had to earn. The kitchen had to be reset, the laundry folded, the toys picked up, and one more email answered before I could finally sit down. Now, some nights the dishwasher waits and the laundry stays where it is. I sit down anyway.

I also stopped filling every quiet moment with something productive. If there were ten spare minutes, I used to look for something small to knock off my list. Now, I try to let those small pockets stay quiet. Sometimes I drink my coffee while it’s still warm. Sometimes I stand at the window for a minute and don’t do anything at all. It doesn’t look impressive, but it helps.

Another habit I’m working on is not carrying my whole to-do list in my head. I could be playing on the floor with my girls and still be mentally running through everything I hadn’t done yet. Now I write it down and let it live somewhere else. I come back to it when I actually need it.

And the biggest one I quietly let go of was the idea that I should be better at this by now. Working from home, raising my girls, keeping the house running and showing up well for all of it. I spent a lot of time assuming the problem was me.

But this season isn’t broken. It’s just full.

I still have messy days and loud days. I still lose my patience sometimes and fall behind more than I’d like. I still end plenty of nights with toys on the floor and laundry in the wrong room.

I’m just learning that lighter days don’t always come from doing more things better. Sometimes they come from doing fewer things and letting that be enough.