Are They Crawling Yet? And Other Questions That Secretly Break a Mom’s Brain

That First-Time-Mom Stress

With my first daughter, the milestone pressure hit hard.
Like, what do you mean she’s not rolling over yet? Is she okay? Am I okay? Should I be doing more tummy time?
It was an emotional rollercoaster—and not the fun, theme-park kind. The kind where you spiral quietly at 2 a.m. while holding your baby and Googling things you probably shouldn’t.

Every time someone asked, “Is she crawling yet?” or “Has she said her first word?” I felt like I was being quizzed. Like these tiny checkboxes determined whether I was doing a good job as a mom. And even though I knew every baby develops at their own pace, I still compared. I still panicked. I still felt like I was somehow behind—like we were all in a race and I had no idea where the finish line even was.

The Second-Time-Mom Perspective

But now, I’ve got my second daughter—and I’m seeing things differently.

This time around, I’m not tracking everything with an app. I’m not counting the weeks and wondering if we’re “on schedule.” I’m not holding my breath waiting for the next milestone.
I’m just watching her.
Enjoying her.
Soaking in the funny little noises she makes and the way her face lights up when her big sister talks to her.

I know now that she’ll sit up when she’s ready. She’ll crawl when she’s ready. She’ll do it all—in her time, not mine. And that realization has been so freeing.

The Invisible Pressure

Here’s the thing: milestones can be helpful, sure. But they also carry this quiet pressure—especially for new moms. When you’re already exhausted and overwhelmed and unsure, those questions about rolling or walking or talking can feel like a performance review you didn’t ask for.
And if your baby’s not quite there yet? It can feel like you’ve done something wrong.

But you haven’t.
You’re learning. Your baby’s learning. You’re both brand new at this.

And while the charts and checklists might matter to your pediatrician, your baby? She just wants to be held. She wants your smile, your voice, your goofy songs. She’s not keeping score.

What I Focus on Now

So now, instead of asking, “When will she crawl?” I find myself thinking, Wow, look what she’s discovering today. I’m not rushing her forward—I’m just trying to stay present.

If you’re a first-time mom reading this and feeling that anxious weight of comparison—I get it. I really, really do. I’ve been there, and I remember how heavy it felt.

But I want you to know: it gets better. You’ll learn to trust your gut more. You’ll stop refreshing milestone charts at midnight. And one day, you’ll look at your happy, healthy kid and think, Oh. We were always okay.

So whether your baby’s crawling, cruising, or still just vibing on the playmat—you’re not behind. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing a beautiful job.

You don’t need to rush the magic. Just enjoy it.

Let’s normalize not knowing, not rushing, and not measuring our worth by timelines. We’re raising little humans, not robots.